Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Oh no.

I think i kind of feel like it's the end of the world now. SHIT.

=( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =(


My mum just told me my cheeks are red. Like sunburnt. But i only played bktball for an hour! Don't think it is la.

OMG a bit emo d =(

Esl and physics =/

I think our moral teacher is close minded. REALLY. Like abt the gay marriage thing. When we sd we thought it was ok, she was like so u think it's good? I mean, it doesn't have to be good to be ok right?! Like you might watch ppl smoke and think 'oh ok.' but you don't think it's good right? HAIYOOOOOOOO.

But i guess she's our moral teacher, so i guess she has to believe in what she's teaching lo.

I went to see this acupuncture lady the other day and i asked abt my sweaty palms la cos i was there anyway. I read abt it and it's actually hiperhydrosis (hi not hy). Like u can do surgery or stuff la, as in it can be treated with medicine. But i mean she told me it's psychological. I mean cos adrenaline is what causes the sweat to come out la. Which means it's related to self confidence and all.

I really think i have low self esteem. haha. That's bad la. I mean i've definitely improved alot cos in KDU there are lots of opportunities to show what u can do, i mean it's like u will have a chance to show what you've got, which i think is one of the good things KDU has.

No i'm not promoting my secondary school.

Ok like i was saying. Ya i have low self esteem. Of course it depends on the situation also la. Sometimes i can be super confident but haha most of the time not. I think that's why i enjoyed sports alot =) Because i was kind of one of the better ones, so like i felt like i made a difference=P Like running it's like before i ran i was like, i kinda knew i had a chance. Basketball, it was abt teamwork so i knew we would do it together and i enjoyed that me being there would make a difference =) Sigh i miss the feeling.

As in, in those situations i had quite alot of confidence la, which was an enjoyable feeling. Because somewhere inside i KNEW there was a high chance of winning. I think that's when ppl feel confident. Ok it doesn't have to be winning. I guess it can be knowing you'll do well too. I DUNNO HOW TO EXPLAIN LA.

So right the lady sd it's because i have low self esteem i have sweaty palms. I guess she's right also la. I mean i doubt myself most of the time =/ it's just everything la. I don't think i deserve to be confident in myself at this point of my life =(

My mum has been in a good mood for the past few days. I don't wanna ruin it =(

(#*&%(_Q#W&%(Q#$_*&% MY RESULTS LA. i KNOW it'll break her heart. I'm used to getting the U BETTER STUDY AH BLA BLA BLA thing. But i have a strong feeling this time it'll be something like Don't need to go to school d. Next year don't have to THINK abt going australia d. I'm not going to spend money on your education d.

The thought of it is, devastating. I just KNOW this time, it'll be bad. ;( x 1000000times.

Ppl deserve a second chance, but i've been given 230957235 chances in my life.

Sparky XD

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