YAY

So, Trixie, Genna and Wei Bao are back for hols! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

But since i'm grounded, aiyo dunno whether can meet up with them or not =/

I can't go Cheer =( I'm ok with it la but wanted to see KDU ppl =(

I can't even go play tennis after college =( DAMN SAAAAD. I srsly feel like hitting tennis balls.

Haha i know my previous post a bit O.O but hahaha what to do i'm like that laaa.

I dunno why, but it's like we (S1) keep bringing up Langkawi. The focus is not on Langkawi, but more on the fact that we're already thinking about our year end hols when we haven't even gone through out trials. ahha. Kai Ping brought up Sipadan (sp?). AIYO AS LONG AS GOT SUN AND BEACH THEN CAN D =D

I think i'm definitely one of those ppl who work better doing hands-on work. I learn better la and haha i'm sure i won't fall asleep. HAHA.

Which is why i actually wanted to do culinary. Hahaha i bet ure going 'not surprising XD' No la i really wanted to do culinary cos i had a passion for it. But my parents didn't allow. Ok i can't remember exactly whether they sd no, but i definitely remember my mum telling me kitchen work is very hard and u have to start from the bottom, difficult to get a job, difficult to do well bla bla bla(which is very discouraging and ya it's kind of a no). I always tell myself if i love what i do, hard also nvm, but haha my parents don't have faith in me concerning that cos i've never done anything to prove that. Cos what i love is like... sports and all, stuff that can't be written in black and white and are considered more of hobbies which are not relevant to my future career =/

I mean, i srsly enjoy hands-on work la. Like if u were a fashion designing student, i don't think u'd do so much reading and memorising and calculating O.O U'd be sketching and sewing! Culinary student u'd be in the kitchen. Aiyo the point is, i'm not a book-study person man =.=

Sometimes i wish i had insisted harder on doing culinary. But i think what held me back was the nagging in my head telling me that i probably wouldn't be successful at the time my peers would be earning lots of money.

Sometimes i wonder what i would be doing now if i took the diploma in architecture (can't remember exact name). I'd be so much more.. 'armed' with info regarding architecture. Which i think i'd prefer to compared to SAM =.= I hope me deciding to do architecture will be one of the right decisions i make in my life.

But i have never taught myself to look back. I mean i can't do anything abt it d right? All i can do is work hard now and see where it takes me.

Wimbledon
I wanna see the retractable roof in action man. Go built then haven't use. They should just use it for one of the matches eventhough it's not raining XD

WHY THE HELL ARE THEY SHOWING DOUBLES WHEN I WANNA SEE RODDICK =.=

Sparky XD

NO.

Sigh, i didn't really study this weekend =( NOOOOO. Hahah my mum has loosened her wrath on me. Not so sure it's a good thing. ahhah.

On a totally different note, i think korean boybands are better than taiwanese ones XD hahaha they can dance and sing better man. Like Super Junior =D AHHA. I was/still never a big fan but i don't mind watching them la. Cos they tend to be a bit.. girly. The hair and the clothing la =/

BoA is like a super geng dancer man. Hahah i mean if u look at a video and the artist is better than the background dancers, the artist is good XD

U know when ppl are in love and they say sweet things like 'I've never loved someone so deeply in my life.' Isn't it supposed to be like that? I mean yala ppl mean it but they say it as if the person they love, is the only other person in the world that happens to be loved so deeply by. Hahah i guess that IS the point la, to make the person feel special =D Which is what u're supposed to do. Don't get me wrong, i wasn't trying to say that there's no point saying it, i was just thinking abt it XD

Cos right, isn't the person u're currently with supposed to be the person u're SUPER DEEPLY in love with = person u've MOST deeply loved before? If ur answer is no right, then like.. HUH?!

Oh, and i've noticed that the majority of couples i see, the female usually looks better than the guy. HAHAHA. Aiyo not our fault la females looks better than males XD jk. No la so i was wondering how come? Why would such beautiful girls be with not-as-good-looking-as-them men? Maybe the guy has money. Or maybe the girls have been in a few failed relationships with very good looking guys (prob because they couldn't provide the girl with smt) that they try to look for guys with that particular smt their looking for instead of just looks.

Likeeee, hmmm i dunno la XD haha but who am i to judge relationships? I've never been in one also XD

EH SHIA LABEOUF IS CUTE LAAAA =D

Oh ppl, if u're currently trying to replace ur shoes, as in ure running/tennis/bktball/casual shoes are cacated d and u want new ones, u can try trading in ur old pair for a rebate of RM50/100/150 from any of the Reebok shoes with the rebate tag. I think only at studio r outlets. Not so sure XD

I find movies quite a big influence. I mean they always have a message to the audience. But unfortunately if u watch too many movies u might get confused. Like some movies say u can change ur destiny, but some movies say destiny chooses u (transformers). Then there are also some that say.. oops i can't think of anymore XD HAHA sry.

But i guess the same ones are usually, leaders are made not born, dying is easy but living is hard. Shit the list can go on forever. HAHAHAHA.

Yesterday,
Ti Ti: Fen, when mummy ask if i play com say i play for a while only ok?
Me: ok.

Mummy: MING! Why are u playing the com? Fen, u left the com on is it?
Fen: No la. I haven't used it for like 2 days d.

*Ti ti comes down and faces my mum*

Mummy: Fen sd she didn't leave the com on.
Ti Ti: Yes, she did. *looks at me and winks*
Fen: I DIDN'T!

Then me and my brother proceeded with arguing and laughing. Then my mum started laughing also cos we couldn't even plan a lie properly. HAHAHA

I know u're not laughing.

Wimbledon
Only yesterday i told Tjen that i was supporting Jankovic and Kuznetsova, then when i read the papers today, both got knocked out O.O

Tjen: Why didn't u say u support Ivanovic and Murray?

I better not jinx any more players=/

HAHA they sd that Marat Safin (left), Safina's(right) brother has broken US$150,000 worth of tennis racquets. US$200 for a racquet, and he broke abt 700 of them. He sd that's not alot O.O
And he's had like US$100,000 worth of disciplinary fines. WOOHOO.

HAHA. Siao d. Nonetheless, super fun player to watch =D

Sparky XD

=)

I feel so much better the past few days =)

As in haha i feel more organised with everything. YAYYYYYYYY.

Even if u don't watch Wimbledon, go watch ch813 COS RIGHT, they keep showing Rolex ads with Roger Federer in it =) =) =)

Lab during chem today was a bit chaotic. AHHA cos hardly anyone printed out the procedures. But it was quite fun laaa.

Me: EH HOW TO MEASURE THE TEMPERATURE?! (i meant like stir while the thermometer was with the stirrer or what la)
Victor: With the thermometer.
HAHAHAHAHA

I'm photogenic meh?? It's not a lansi thing but i srsly don't think so. As in i hardly think i look nice in pics =/

Today is Ian's bday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN =D Hahahh ure definitely annoying at times (what a way to wish u right XD) but ure also one of my closest friends and someone i can count on. I LOVE our laughing moments (which are VERY often) and hahahha i'll always miss the times where we go crazy ahahaa =D Oh, and ur FUNNY jokes.

What is the sister's or transformers?
TransSISTORS.
Parents?
TransPARENTS.

I LAUGHED. Too bad when Ian tried to tell it to my classmates they were all =.=
AHHAHAHA

IM WATCHING TRANSFORMERS AGAIN TMR =D =D =D

Megan Fox damn pretty XD I sound so lesbo. HAHA. Is she a transvestite or not?? Even if she was, i wouldn't think of her that way la. I mean, she doesn't look like a man also =/ and she's like, super pretty. HAHA.

Yay i slept in the afternoon today =) so nice.

Sparky XD

I WANT YOU TO PULL THE BLUE ONE

OMG TRANSFORMERS WAS AWESOOOOOMEEEE MAAAAN =D

Shia Labeouf is cute, Megan Fox is really pretty (and her acting is not bad) and New Divide that was played at the end of the movie was SO perfect =) (the first movie was In The End, also by LP) EH the effects was DAMN good also la, the details were there and the action scenes were very clear. Humour was SO there =D

Can't say much if not i'll spoil it for ppl. But i have to say Tze Hong was like flailing his arms like GUI FEN EXCITED OR NOT?! when there was a scene with a guy wearing a thong. AHHA.

I'm so glad i watched it today =P

Anyway, the day went on like this,

Zhe Kai and Harin in their formal clothes for ESL.

Tze Hong.



Wei Seong and Wei Chuen at Face to Face.

Kenn Joe, Joanna and Benjamin.

Yit Guan and Kai Ping.

Me, Yit Guan and Kai Ping.

HAHA EUGENE.

Calvin and Adrian.

Calvin. Again. HAHA.

Wei Chuen what u doing XD

After the movie we had dinner.

Hahaha damn funny we were walking towards the Sunway Hotel just to look, and we ended up talking about prom and what we were gonna wear, the theme and all (we were laughing and screaming, in a big bunch) while standing at the dividing section of the hotel and the mall O.O

Shit i'm damn tired =/

I hope you'll enjoy the movie as much as i did =D

Sparky XD

OMG TRANSFORMERS IS TMR. I CANT WAIT =D =D =D

I thought things were getting better =.= But i guess not.

I mean, it's only been 4 days since got bombed for my results and i think i'm doing better, but guess i'm the only one that thinks so =/

No going out for movies or games (sports) during weekdays. AT ALL. WHAT, AM I UNDER HOUSE ARREST OR SOMETHING?!

Ok i deserve it la but.

Ok no movies or games during weekdays doesn't sound bad, but to me it's like, no fun on weekdays. Because my mum just sd, NO TURNING ON COM TONIGHT (but i'm here in front of it la), NO PHONE CALLS. All till i'm done with my work.

Sounds reasonable, but if i can't use the phone till i'm done with my work, by the time i'm done who is there to talk to?? O.O I'm saying i finish my work at 11 ish.

Reason for no games during weekdays: While i study i only look forward to it and i dont concentrate.

Solution: Play first in the evening then study after! Then when i study i'd already have played so i won't get distracted thinking abt it. NO MEH.

Forgot what the argument to that was. Something abt not playing la =.=

AND. Why can't i do my work later? i DON'T have to finish it by 11 right =/ DAMN LAAAME.

I talked on the phone for like 10 ish min to 2 ppl (5 min each) and during the last call.

FEN. NO TALKING. I say 'AWHILE ONLY' she says 'NO TRANSFORMERS TMR'

'Bye, talk to u tmr.'

After the call. I get lectured abt not doing my work. It was 9.50pm! I had the books in front of me and after the call i was gonna start. (haha if u know u'd be like YES MEH)

I was damn pissed. U DON'T EVEN WILLINGLY DO IT. IT'S LIKE U DON'T EVEN WANT TO DO IT. IT'S LIKE URE NOT EVEN REPENTING. U NO NEED TO GO SCHOOL TMR. WASTE MONEY ONLY ( i paid fees d so if i don't go isn't THAT wasting money?)

T.T OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. IF I DONT CARE, WHY AM I DOING MY WORK?!?!?! WHY AM I BOTHERING TO LISTEN IN CLASS???

I was told to keep it up at like 6 something, and i just got told to NOT go school tmr at 10 something. WHAT THEEE...

OMGGGG. OMG IM SO ANNOYED THAT IM COMPLAINING ON MY BLOG. PPL DONT LIKE READING ABT PPL'S COMPLAINTS O.O

Oh shit my school acc got disabled cos i was playing fb games in the web. AHHAA.

And i got squished in a jason-mraz-concert-squished way trying to get cartons of fruit juice. hahha it was quite funny but omg damn squished man. I got 2 =)

My brain was like.. dunno what la during tuition. I felt like i only knew 1% of trigo. STUUUUPID.

I am SO under house arrest.

Sparky XD

HELLO

Watching Two and a Half Men now. I LOVE IT. hahaha it's like so funny. Especially the kid, Jake XD

OMG we finally got the Transformers tickets!!! OMG OMG OMG. Thanks to Harin, Shak and Tze Hong. WOOHOOOOOOO!

Watched Joanna and Kenn Joe present today. I dunno why, but we all found Kenn Joe's presentation fun to discuss about =)

The swine flu thing is seriously getting out of hand! The van uncle who fetches my brother to school got home quarantined today cos he fetched a girl who got back from Aus. My friend has classmates who are home quarantined. My friends know ppl who are quarantined. SO MANY MAN O.O Just so u know, i took a vaccine for it. Just now. Near my hse. Ask me abt it if u want. RM60.

Hahahah ss wants our campus to close down for like a day.

I went you-tubing till 3am ytd. AHAHHAH.

Which is probably the reason why i couldn't really open my eyes during phy class. EH. Omg the topic is quite the boring ok. Waves. Just 32975203 times more detailed than in form 5. =.=

I never played facebook games. Haha but i started this week. First it was Restaurant City. Then today at The Web, my classmates and i started playing Typing Maniac, then i played Guitar Geek. AHHAHA FUNNNNNNNN.

OMGGGGGGG. WIMBLEDON STARTS TODAY. =D =D =D OH AND U KNOW WHAT? nadal is out. MUAHAHAH. Ok la it's actually super sad that he's the defending champion and he's not playing =/ But then federer has a bigger chance of winning =D GO FEDERER!!! All the white outfits and green grass =)

I think i'm quite happy with today. ahaha. I mean i did work. Yay me.

How come like that one=S

Sparky XD

EASY MY FOOT

Hahahaha.

Oh no, my mum is/will be nagging at me for the rest of the year i tell u! All thanks to me =)

Sigh. I have to reset my mindset maaan. Seriously. Hahaha. I srsly love playing and having fun. Who doesn't? But i think i REALLY like it. Like in an almost unhealthy way.

SO. Ya i have to start arranging my priorities=/ It's back to sitting in front (ok maybe not so front) in class. Less talking(aiyooo how?). And paying attention (i hope i don't fall asleep) in class. I hope it works =) HAHA.

I actually don't like stating what i plan to do and all and what i plan to achieve cos it's like i'm always jinxing myself and they NEVER work. But i don't wanna lie to myself and keep changing what i want to do. I so have to stick to it maaan.

So, who wants to go play badminton tmr? JOKING. SRSLY JOKING.

I went to play badminton today. HAHAHAHA. Don't =.= me yet ok i studied before that. Matt came over and we did some maths. ahhaha. I wanted to do phy but sigh, didn't.

Shit la have to work harder =( The teachers sd have to work VERY hard d. I'm NOT looking forward to it =( I foresee lots of mental breakdowns, laughter(if we have study groups) and and and.... hopefully nicer results? hahahha.

Random. I was watching Across the Universe ( it's a musical) the other day, and i recorded it. Then i wanted to record another show (Perfume)

Me: EH! I WANNA RECORD THAT SHOW! (astro max)
Ti Ti: YOU HAVEN'T EVEN WATCHED YOUR CROSSOVER UNIVERSITY!

*Starts laughing hysterically* HHHAHAHA I LAUGHED DAMN LONG MAAAN. SO FUNNY. Brothers =)

oh ya. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

I can't find a pic of me and my dad =( I hope he had a good time playing golf =D

How was your Father's day?

My mum has been so nice to me lately =/ I mean she's always nice la just that her mood swings are =.= But she's been SO MUCH nicer the past 2 weeks. And i don't deserve it =( SIGGGH.

And i think right, i usually get stuff i want, but i don't get the things i REALLY want. But u can't have everything right?

I like the Obsessed movie's tagline. All's Fair When Love is War. HAHAHA. Cooool.

Sometimes i think(not think, i'm kind of sure) ppl are the most complicated 'things' in the whole wide world.

I should go now.

OH. The H1N1 thing is getting scarier =(

Sparky XD

=)

EH. Rate my emo blog from 1-10. HAHAHA.

Was it THAT emo? hahahaha. Yer.

Not being perasan by assuming u ppl care, but haha i'm ok, ok? =D

But thanks for asking =P

Just had one of those bad times la =/

I mean, everyone has bad days right? You can't be happy every single moment of ur life cos that'd be weird. Hahaha but that would be nice =)

Watched Obsessed just now with Ben, Matt and Carmen. It was creepy. YER. You will totally ate Ali Larter in this show man. Like you'll go WTH man.

My mum went for PTM today. I DID NOT want her to go ok. I didn't go la and thank goodness she didn't make me.

SO.

Aiyo my mum sd they all sd the same thing la. DOWNHILL. Like they sd i was good when i sat in front without friends (haha i remember i was quite lonely at the start), but then now ah, got friends d talk talk talk. HAHA. Oops. Pn Mahani sd she was impressed with me and thought i'd get better but, haha i didn't =/ Downhill all the way maaaaaaan.

Think all the teachers say this la, like aiyo ur daughter/son got potential to get A one, NO issue. AHHA easier sd then done man =/

I'm grateful my mum is handling it well. If i were her i'd have killed me, i think XD

I think at one point of our convo, it was almost like a case of me choosing btw friends and studies! SIAO MEH. I want both =/ TIME MANAGEMENT PPL!

OH YA. This has come up alot of times.

Go physio that time, physiotherapist say i very stressed out. Other incidents also implied that i'm under stress la.

Mummy: U all (me and my brother) stressed meh, what to get stressed about? Mummy different la working.

WHAT TO GET STRESSED ABOUT? Well, let's see. How about, EVERYTHING. hahaha. I find it funny that parents think we don't get stressed out =/

I mean, we have exams, we have to WORRY about the exams, we have work, we have to WORRY about the dateline, we have that crush, we THINK about what we're gonna do about that person, we have a gf/bf, we WANT to spend time with that person but we have work.

NOT STRESSED MEH???hahahaha.

I never answer that question. Cos ahaha if i were to answer, it'd probably take awhile =)

Ppl think that if u don't look stressed ure not stressed. HAIYOOOO. NO SUCH THING. I think ALOT of ppl have mastered the art of hiding what they feel. Woohoo, more ppl to figure out. haha i have no idea what i'm talking about XD

Ok, but ppl, never keep it in ok =D Talk to someone. It helps alot. REALLYYYYY.

Who's going for Cheer 2009? I wanna go! Yay wimbledon men's finals is on 5th of july also. SLEEPOVERRRRRRRRRRR =D

Sparky XD

I feel SO MUCH better =)

Physics report passed up! Aiyo but mine like so little compared to all the other ppl one =( It's like everyone exceeded the word count and mine like, was following the word count=(

ESL presentation done! Did it in 3 hrs. I made 'cue cards' but i didn't even use them so i ended up talking abt EVERYTHING i knew on the slide, which was, haha more than i intended to say. So overtime i think. Think it was ok =D

Ok, hahah WHAT is wrong with wearing my orange shoes with my dark blue & black outfit?!?!?! I like it =P

AND, my results, which is what i've been worrying abt for the past 2 weeks, reached my letterbox yesterday. I think my heart dropped (exaggerating) when i saw it. I'm gonna be stupid and admit i hid it. Because i just wasn't ready to let my mum see it. I already feel shitty abt it, so what is my mum gonna think?! I gave it to her this morning though, like right after she left the hse to go into the car (to fetch me to the bus stop), i left it on the table and went to the car.

U know why right? It's cos i wouldn't have to see her face when she sees the results, and face her wrath after XD

Aiyo, to me timing is everything la. It can totally change anything! Like, if i showed it to her when she was in a bad mood, i probably wouldn't be here typing this. Hahahaha. Applies to everything else la, u can definitely make things better or worse based on the timing it happens. I dunno what i'm talking abt.

ANYWAY. Haha i totally saw what was coming d. Her reaction i mean. =( But i'm definitely gonna do what i have to do to make things better la.

OH YA! Eh i don't think i'm gonna type so emo posts anymore. Some ppl (awww) ask me whether i'm ok and all. Thanks =) But i dunno la i feel quite like, i'm just menyusahkan-ing ppl with my problems.

SORRY NAT. Hahha cos i haven't been telling u the details and i don't blog abt it.

But that emo-post night, everything just happened at the wrong time (HAHA TIMING) la. I was supposed to be grounded for a month (haha dont ask me why), but my mum let me play badminton that night cos she was nice, so i went. 7-9. But i came home at 11. So YA =/ Her frustration from the days before that just accumulated and it exploded that night lo. AND i had phy to worry abt, AND esl AND my results. So ya looo.

Hahaha but i was ok d the next day (ytd). I think i'm quite thankful that i'm the type of person that let's things go the next day. Like something VERY bad could happen the night before, but the next morning i wake up, it's like a whole new day with a new beginning =D WOOHOO.

I haven't spoken to my mum yet. I mean after her seeing the results, so i shouldnt be feeling happy so soon. But sigh i feel much better!!!

I still wanna play badminton though =(

Oh and i missed the bus at 2pm. SHIT LA. Haiyo. Damn annoying waste my time only. Wanted to go home. YER.

I WANNA WATCH TRANSFORMERS!

Sparky XD

WA MY PREVIOUS POST DAMN WHAT LO.

Hahaha i felt so EWWWW when i read the first few lines.

I have to do my esl.

OMG CAN BUY TRANSFORMERS TIX D!!!

Sparky XD

I just got bombed by a bomb bigger than a nuclear bomb

T.T

SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

This is one of the WORST things that has ever happened to me.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WORK NOW. But i have to let it out la. Dunno what to let out also.

T.T

It's never been this bad before =( And it's not even the end of it.

I mean, NEVER. I used to know what was right and what was wrong. I mean i really knew, but now i'm so lost! Like srsly. Somehow i see things differently now, which by looking at what's happening cos i'm seeing things differently, it's not good.

This past half year has definitely been a roller coaster ride (haha cliche but true), full of bittersweet moments. I'm having more fun, but i'm having to deal with the more serious consequences. I think i'm in dire need of someone who will tell me what i'm supposed to do to make things right and what's wrong with me.

Wait. I don't need la actually. Cos I KNOW what i'm supposed to do and what's wrong with me. =/ SADLY LA.

I think i need someone to punch me in the face.

Having said that, DO NOT PUNCH ME IN THE FACE IN SCHOOL TMR.

I happen to be one of those ppl who believe things happen for a reason. Like when something bad happens i'm like WHY LA. Then i think abt why it happened and maybe i'm supposed to learn something from it. Sometimes.

So maybe me being in S1 and having fun and experiencing so much stuff is like a challenge. To prove that i can handle it la.

I'm such a disappointment =/ to everyone =(

I think im a needy and whiny person. HAHAHA. Next time if i ever get a bf. Die d XD Is it surprising at all that i've never had a bf? I mean i don't see myself having a bf =/ Not anytime soon la. Like i observe, and haha i don't think there are many guys who would like a girl like me. Too siao d. I'm quite skeptical abt the whole finding-someone-u-like-and-the-person-liking-u-back thing. Of course u might feel stuff with someone la, but being together as a couple requires so much more. WALAU WHAT AM I TALKING ABT T.T

WHY ARE MY POSTS SO EMOOOOOOOOOOOOO. But i think blogging abt it helps alot. Knowing that i've thought abt it. And typing it out always gives me time to think. I find talking abt it hard also la.

I srsly do not recall life being this hard. Maybe it's because now there is so much more at stake when u make decisions. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

WHYYYYYY??

Ok maybe i do need someone to support me and tell me what i should do. MINUS THE NAGGING AND SCREAMING =/

Dont think i can sleep tonight.

CHEM ESL PHY T.T

I've never felt so stressed out. Abt college, family, myself. Which is everything =/

Sparky

Oh no.

I think i kind of feel like it's the end of the world now. SHIT.

=( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =(

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

My mum just told me my cheeks are red. Like sunburnt. But i only played bktball for an hour! Don't think it is la.

OMG a bit emo d =(

Esl and physics =/

I think our moral teacher is close minded. REALLY. Like abt the gay marriage thing. When we sd we thought it was ok, she was like so u think it's good? I mean, it doesn't have to be good to be ok right?! Like you might watch ppl smoke and think 'oh ok.' but you don't think it's good right? HAIYOOOOOOOO.

But i guess she's our moral teacher, so i guess she has to believe in what she's teaching lo.

I went to see this acupuncture lady the other day and i asked abt my sweaty palms la cos i was there anyway. I read abt it and it's actually hiperhydrosis (hi not hy). Like u can do surgery or stuff la, as in it can be treated with medicine. But i mean she told me it's psychological. I mean cos adrenaline is what causes the sweat to come out la. Which means it's related to self confidence and all.

I really think i have low self esteem. haha. That's bad la. I mean i've definitely improved alot cos in KDU there are lots of opportunities to show what u can do, i mean it's like u will have a chance to show what you've got, which i think is one of the good things KDU has.

No i'm not promoting my secondary school.

Ok like i was saying. Ya i have low self esteem. Of course it depends on the situation also la. Sometimes i can be super confident but haha most of the time not. I think that's why i enjoyed sports alot =) Because i was kind of one of the better ones, so like i felt like i made a difference=P Like running it's like before i ran i was like, i kinda knew i had a chance. Basketball, it was abt teamwork so i knew we would do it together and i enjoyed that me being there would make a difference =) Sigh i miss the feeling.

As in, in those situations i had quite alot of confidence la, which was an enjoyable feeling. Because somewhere inside i KNEW there was a high chance of winning. I think that's when ppl feel confident. Ok it doesn't have to be winning. I guess it can be knowing you'll do well too. I DUNNO HOW TO EXPLAIN LA.

So right the lady sd it's because i have low self esteem i have sweaty palms. I guess she's right also la. I mean i doubt myself most of the time =/ it's just everything la. I don't think i deserve to be confident in myself at this point of my life =(

My mum has been in a good mood for the past few days. I don't wanna ruin it =(

(#*&%(_Q#W&%(Q#$_*&% MY RESULTS LA. i KNOW it'll break her heart. I'm used to getting the U BETTER STUDY AH BLA BLA BLA thing. But i have a strong feeling this time it'll be something like Don't need to go to school d. Next year don't have to THINK abt going australia d. I'm not going to spend money on your education d.

The thought of it is, devastating. I just KNOW this time, it'll be bad. ;( x 1000000times.

Ppl deserve a second chance, but i've been given 230957235 chances in my life.

Sparky XD

Finally

After 298562 years, i FINALLY watched

WOOHOOOO! I liked it XD I mean got cute guy, touching story, funny scenes, can d =D

OMG i never thought much of zac efron but in this show he was SOOOOOOOOOOO cute =P

Sigh.

NOOO, practical test tomorrow =( I'm not sure abt counting the number of moles of the acid yet. Still have my physics report AND my esl presentation =(

I dunno why but i suddenly find having to deal with these important stuff VERY intimidating, like i'm scared =( REALLY. Damn scary =/

Fuiyo played pool today. Super sucky XD hahahaha!!!

Sparky XD

We went to watch Blood: The Last Vampire on fri.

Uhhhhhh. It was ok la but the scenes were quite fake. The action scenes were good la. I mean the lfying here flying there with the leaves swirling around =/ HAHA.

Omg we went to like 2 optical shops and started trying the sunglasses XD hahah it was fun.

Me and Joanna.

I dunno why but i could only get this pic =( The rest were like gone. NOOOOOO.

Its like 7-ish already but i haven't done any work. SURPRISE SURPRISE =O

I'm worried abt the esl presentation. Sigh. Since mine is on fri, if i don't do it earlier, i'll be juggling both phy report and the presentation. I CAN'T.

Carmen, Ben and Matt came over yesterday night. Wanted to go watch a movie but hahaha i was/am grounded. WOOOHOO watched shopaholic and fired up. hahah it was fun =D

HAHA HI MATT XD

Went to see this acupuncture lady today. She's like DAMN good. Like she totally knew everything about our health conditions. Cos my mum knows what problems she has and the lady knew all of them =/ SO COOL. Won't elaborate.

I like facials. Too bad the extraction part hurts. hahahahaha like i have to clench my fists to tahan it. Real hard. GO TRY THEN U KNOW LA =D

I wanna be RICHHHHHH >=) MUAHAHAHAHA.

Eh i totally forgot practical test is on tue. Sigh =/

Sparky XD

AAHHHHHHHHHH

WA. Ok wanted to go watch Drag Me to Hell with Yit Guan they all but didn't have transport home =/ Anyway, i heard it was DAMN GOOD. So go watch it =D

Ok, they sd it was REALLY good. SO, GO WATCH IT XD

I seriously have nothing to blog abt lo =(

I mean, i'm still in a mess. SIGH.

Sales are going on now and i'm like O.O but i don't feel like going out cos of how i feel. Bigger sigh.

I FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING. Like let's say, watch a movie? sigh, anything will do to make me feel not restless. WHY AM I SO RESTLESS???

It's like i have LOTS and LOTS of stuff to gao dim (work and all) but somehow i feel like... their so far away!! I mean not in my grasp la. SHIIIIT.

Adrian: have u ever had a bf?
Me: No.
Adrian: Do u want one?
Me: Dunno.

I mean, hahaha i don't know if the question should be i want one or not, more like is there anyone? You have to like someone first right, and haha of course the person has to like u back. Somehow i think that's like, almost impossible. REALLY. If you think abt it la, isn't it like so difficult to find you like who likes you back? ahahha. But of course everyday you see couples around, so ya i guess it isn't as impossible as it seems.

hahaha i seriously do not know the point i was trying to make XD

Does acupuncture hurt?

Sparky XD

Sigh

College was ok today.

Omg was like O.O during the first half of the day =/ BAD, VERY BAD.

Yay went to Starbucks today =D haha no la im not a psycho starbucks person but i like the place, it's ambience and all. HAHA TZE HONG BELANJA-ED XD

The least cool person among him, me and nam jhuen had to belanja. HAHA.

I think caffeine worked wonderfully on me today. HAHA cos i didn't feel sleepy AT ALL after lunch and class was fun. I didn't really think caffeine works cos when i drink coffee at night to keep me up studying, it doesn't work. hahaha.

Wanted to go home to play bktball but made last min rash decision to go watch a movie a pyramid.

Watched Fighting cos 17 again was full=( Yes, tjen it's a sign that i have to watch it with you and here you gush abt Zac Efron XD

I liked the movie. Read a review before and was not bad la. The conversations were nice and the fighting scenes were good. I mean i'd pick 17 again and Monsters vs Aliens over it but i didn't feel sleepy AT ALL through the whole show =D which is a good sign.

Omg way behind on watching movies. Hannah Montana (yes i wanna watch it), Monsters vs Aliens, Angels and Demons, 17 again. That's it for now. There's still Ghosts of Girlfriends past, Drag me to hell coming up =/

Feel better abt the exams thing. Not because i'm done realising my mistakes and all, but more to the side of realising that i NEVER want the numb feeling of doing badly to ever happen. And also knowing that i can't make up excuses anymore. I have to just get on with it =/

Haven't felt so down in awhile. As in DOWN DOWN, like sad and kind of emo-ish. hahaha getting frustrated and angry is like, not down, it's... side. HAHAHAHAHA DAMN LAME XD Ok ya but i'm glad i'm not alone la.

I realise that i like my alone time =D Not in an emo way la, haha. I mean when i go home, i like it when everyone's asleep(which is past 11 which is why i've been sleeping late) and i have the living room to myself. TV on, laptop on. Cos after college, i don't think it's nice when you have someone nagging at you to study or whatever (even when you know it's done for a good reason XD) To just like think abt the whole day i guess =/

Eh seriously lo, i've been thinking alot la i think, more than ever. I mean this year. Too much d. Like got so many stuff! Maybe i'm going through a phase =O the discovering the world phase. hahaha like i'm realising how i feel abt relationships, and like more sensitive abt stuff i think, priorities, and abt what i'm going to do. Because everything seems so unclear =(

WALAO EH DAMN LIKE EMO-ISH LO. I don't think emo-ish stuff. Ppl are ok, but other than that, no. If i reread this, i'd be like O.O so i don't. HAHA

Random thought. The last time i'd always worry abt like, when i do something (anything, from studying to sports to whatever) what if i get worse and worse, but then like now i tell myself, if i do worse than before, i'll be better the next time.

I wanna laugh and smile everyday =D =D =D Wait, i think i can do that XD I wanna make ppl smile too =P

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Sparky XD

0.0

OMG. Worst first day of school EVER.

Really looked forward to college this morning. I mean haha get to see all of my classmates again XD

But i tell you now ah. SHIT SHIT SHIT. Like, what type of results did i get back? I can't even call them results weiiiii.

I mean, haha this is what i get for not studying =/

STUPID.

Pn. Mahani: Other classes got like 2, 2, 5 ppl fail, your class 14.

S1, we have to do something wei. SRSLY. Haha no im not implying that our class results are bad and i'm like 'yer so cha man' but we all know we can't finish our year like THIS. Don't tell me you want to fail.

Aiyo, we totally should brainwash each other la. hahaha. Now i understand pengaruh rakan sebaya XD I don't think we can do this by ourselves. So, we shouldn't =D

Sigh. Damn like =.= now

Sparky =/

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

CHAMPIONSHIP POINTTT!!!

FINAL SCORRRRRRRRRE.

HAHA TJEN AND CARMEN.

FEDERER!!!

SIGHHH.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

OMG OMG OMG OMG FEDERER WON THE FRENCH OPENNNNN =D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D

14th grand slam!!! And 1ST FRENCH OPEN! OMG OMG OMG.

SPARKY XD

KIWIIII

So Alia Shira and Emeera are going to NZ tmr =( I'm gonna miss them.

Alia celebrated her 18th bday at The Terrace/Mystery Bar at The Curve.

Calvin, Matthew and Kenneth.

Carmen, Joey and Ch'n-Wen (tcw)

Tcw, Carmen and me.

Tcw, Bday girl (Alia) and me.

Sam, Me and Joey.

Sam!!

Sam pouring uhhhhhh something.

Shira, Emeera, Joey, Tcw, Me, Ian and sammmm.

Shira, Carmen, Joey, Tcw and me.

Carmen, Joey, Benjamin, Tcw and me.

HAHA. Joey and Ian.

Ma, Tjen and Wan ru.

Tcw, Tjen and Wan ru.

Matthew, Tcw, Sam, Carmen and Joey. I like this pic =P

Ian, Carmen, Joey and Tjen,

Joey and Tjen.

Matthew and me.

Carmen and Wan ru. STUPID IAN XD

Me and Wan ru.

Ben, Me, Tcw and Joey.

Me and Tcw. I like taking pictures with Ch'n-wen. HAHAHA.

Me and Tjen. *cough* take 91385698136531.

Joey, Tcw, Me, Matthew, Wei Ken, Ian, Calvin and Kenneth. Eh only one picture of wei ken.

Was fun =D Caught up with everyone. WOOHOOO.

Can't wait to go back to college tmr!!! Minus the getting-results-back part XD

Was telling Wei seong that day that usually i really look forward to my bday every year, but then this year not really la. Cos right, if i look forward to my bday, it means looking forward to the end of the year, which will mean finishing college =( which means... AIYO U KNOW LA. =D

OMG OMG OMG ROLAND GARROS MEN'S FINALS TONIGHT =D =D =D

Federer u rock XD

Sparky XD

P.s. There was another post before this that i posted 5 min ago.

WHOA, Kuznetsova won the French Open. Poor safina =/ 6-4 6-2 somemore. Didn't get to watch the match cos went for Alia's party.

Pictures from Sarikei.

EH! Malaysia Airlines give Baskin Robbins ice cream. Siao d. And they got Ferrero Rocher somemore. FUIYOOO.



This is the view from my grandmother's hse.

Hahaha contrary to the popular sarawak=jungle belief, hahaha there ARE such things as shops there XD

Got bata somemore. HAHAHAHA. Ok la omg too sarcastic d. But no cinema la. So like i srsly had nothing to do =/ LIKE SRSLY. STONE THE WHOLE DAY IN MY GRANDMOTHER'S HSE. COs my cousins went back.

This is my grandmother's hse. The off-white painted top floor is the bird's nest place thingy.

THIS whole building is now a bird's nest thingy (haha production place la). I guess the swallows fly through the pipe entrances.


See got cctv to monitor the birds man. It's dark inside la and full of bird chirps and shit. ahha.


Ok, as you can see, there are like wood dividers on the ceiling. Well, the swallows make their nest at the sides of the plank. When the eggs hatch and the whole family leaves, they take the nest. Then, the swallows will come back again when they want to nest.

My dad knew i had a classmate in Sarikei la so he sd must go see.

Daddy: Must go see ur friend ah.
Fen: Yala drive pass only ma.
Daddy: No, must go and see.
Fen: HA?? FOR WHAT. Later ppl think why u want to go see him wo.
Daddy: Daddy want to see ur friend ma.


So we drove there la. i was like NO DADDY DONT NEED LA. But then he go stop the engine. HAHA. Luckily no one was at home. Sarikei srsly small town man, cos tze hong's hse only 5 min walk away from my grandmother's hse.


Ti Ti's sexy hairless leg. HAHAHAHAHA. He doens't read my blog.

OH, and we bought a solid wood chopping board. RANDOMMMMM.

My grandmother's cousin's dog. SO CUTE MAN.


SO NICE RIGHT.

OMG THIS ONE EVEN NICERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR =D


I'll make a new post for Alia's party.


Sparky XD